Choose To Live With Goals - Don't Become a Goldfish!

 Extract from the book

"Better Decisions Lead To Better Destinations"

A man without goals is a gold fish

Attributed to Many Authors

“Before you can score you must first have a goal.”

Where is your life headed? Do you have definite targets or are you like the goldfish? This is a very good question for everyone to consider. A goldfish in a goldfish bowl swims around in circles achieving the same thing on each circuit. At times life can become something like this. Without any goals life can consist of set milestones along the way that just happen to be what the family does. For example some people’s lives are essentially made up of four main features. They may have a sporting interest and they watch the sport, they celebrate their birthday, they have a family holiday & they celebrate some religious celebration like Christmas at some point. They repeat the same process year in year out, year after year, with no real variation. Unless they are very careful then they will spend 30 or 40 years of their life just repeating the same circuit and essentially be like a goldfish in the bowl. They just go along with what life has on offer instead of setting any real goals to achieve in their life. Life can be a boring circuit or it can have adventurous features when we choose to step out of our comfort zone and start to achieve something that is of real interest.

Man has amazing potential for greatness but equally he has an amazing ability to throw it all away. What a waste of opportunities.

People who do not set goals usually have a set of justifications to explain why they don’t do this. Justifications are actually excuses. The fact is that we can set goals and the best way to start to do this is by setting small ones. Once we achieve the success associated with small goals we soon become hooked on setting much better goals for life. We can then take advantage of real goal setting principles discussed in this volume.

Man’s ability to set and achieve major goals is actually remarkable. An American president decided that they were going to put a man on the moon. Whatever you think of that particular goal, it remains true that this was achieved within a decade using technology that is far inferior to what we have today. You very likely have more technology in the watch on your wrist than was actually available to those space pioneers who went to the moon. In fact, it has been observed that the computing power on the recently retired US space shuttle is far inferior to the technology that is available in the average smart phone. Yet without the advancement of technology men were able to find a way. This is what makes man’s ingenuity so amazing. Once he has set a goal he will find a way.

It isn’t much to show for life if all we’ve done is gone around in circles. Of course there is nothing wrong with that as a choice if that is genuinely what a person wants to do their life. We all have different values that are worthy or recognition. But you should never be afraid of setting major goals for yourself. Few people would realize how many of life’s achievers have come from such incredibly humble origins. If you want to set a big goal then take the time to step away from your life for some period and do some real thinking. Seriously examine what you actually want to do. Living a worthwhile life is a real achievement. It could be that you are interested in some charitable endeavor or some other interest in life. You have the potential to make a real contribution in some area. Why not take the time and set a few small goals. You might set your first goal along the lines of gathering more information. Often this is a good starting point. Study the idea until you know the subject in depth. Then you might see your way into the area of interest from a better perspective and it will help you become specific about your goals.

You don’t have to be a goldfish. You are already an amazing human being. So where do you want to go?

“The energy it takes to run fast is wasted unless you know your destination.”

Better Decisions Lead To Better Destinations

Extract from the new book "Better Decisions Lead To Better Destinations"

"The grass only looks greener"

Attributed To Many Authors

The original saying is that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Imaginary individuals are looking over the fence at their neighbor’s garden and accentuating the positive while becoming negative about their own garden. Thus the saying as outlined above.

The reality however is that the grass only looks greener in the eye of the beholder. There is every chance that your neighbor in this situation is looking at your garden with envy because they believe that your garden is better than theirs.

One consistent characteristic of human beings is their ability to imagine that something is better because it belongs to someone else. Or they believe that by acquiring something that they do not have, their life will improve in some way. So the saying is that “the grass is greener on the other side.” Rarely does this prove to be the panacea to success that people imagine it is likely to be.

It is reminiscent of the sporting events that I watch each year. Some people watch golfers and notice the ads for amazing golf clubs. So they purchase the golf club and imagine that because they’ve now got this amazing club they’ll perform like some champion golfer. Or perhaps they watch Wimbledon and they notice the tennis racquet that is in use and they think that if they do what their heroes have done and purchase that tennis racquet, then they will be able to hit the ball the same way. Naturally they soon discover that it doesn’t work like that.

This swapping positions or swapping possessions does not equate with reality. You may look at another person circumstances and think that they have it easy. You wish that you were in the same position. In reality the same person may be looking back over that fence at you and wishing that they could have your circumstances.

The grass only looks greener.

Some years ago a very well respected academic shared with me a story of his youth. At the time it was fashionable to wear hats. There was a particular shop that displayed hats very effectively and every time he went past the shop he noted this particular hat. He was determined to purchase the hat and so he scrimped and saved because he felt that the hat would look good on him and make a certain impression. Every day he went past the shop and looked at the hat. In time he purchased the hat and now he was a very happy man. But after he had purchased it he began to realize that he didn’t really suit him. His words to me? “I didn’t really like it anyway. But I couldn’t see the truth of this until I had bought it.”

The facts show that we create a certain legend, in our own thinking, about a product that we wish to have. We imagine that it will be this or this. The reality is that we create, in our own mind, the illusion that the grass is greener on the other side. When we start this elusive line of thinking we can convince ourselves that the grass actually is greener on the other side and begin to covet what other people have.

Life is what we make it. Rather than looking over the fence we need to focus on what we do have and what we can do. Remember that where you focus your life leads you to success in those areas. Occasionally a successful person will look up from their hard focused activity and see people looking over the fence wishing that they were as successful. But the successful person knows that there is no point in looking over the fence because the grass only “looks greener.” Swapping places with someone else does not equate to an easy life. Success is always the result of focused activity.

Focus on your own life and therefore “on your own garden” and you will soon realize success yourself.

Keys to Success

Success is finding out what you are good at and then doing it

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.”

Mark Twain

“You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.”

Albert Einstein

“It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”

Leonardo da Vinci

“Kites rise highest against the wind, not with it.”

Winston Churchill

“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.”

Abraham Lincoln

This simple observation may well be one of the most important truths you ever read. Everybody is good at something. If you can discover what that is and do it then all sorts of opportunities will open up in front of you.

In fact the truth of the matter is that we’re all good at many things. Sometimes we never take the opportunity to sit down and do a strength and weakness test. Take a piece of paper and start to work out our strengths and weaknesses:  you will begin to step down the road that can lead to all sorts of things. One person I know was involved in a career but not of his choosing. In fact he was in this career for over 30 years. Then one day he began to pursue a career doing something that he loved. In no time at all he was enjoying a much happier life and achieving much greater success. In fact he became very successful.

If we never take the time to discover what we are really good at we don’t open up the doors to this sort of success. So what are your strengths and your weaknesses? Personal honesty is very important. Sometimes we believe that we are good at something and it takes a good friend to tell us that we are not.

Do you have a genuine friend that is not judgmental? Might you ask them their opinion of your strengths and weaknesses? Don’t be surprised at the fact that the answers will be different from what you expect. A poet once wrote about the fact that it would be good for all of us to see ourselves the way that other saw us. It would give as a reality check. But this reality check could well be a reality check on the way to success. It’s worth the pain.

If you persist down the line that you are on and you are not actually getting anywhere then isn’t it time to reconsider? Sometimes people have false ideas about what they are good at. They believe that because they have had some success in one area of life it is only necessary for them to persist. But success isn’t always linked to talent in one specific area. Take for example a small business that opens up in a community and is very successful. They may believe that they are very good at what they do and that is the reason for the success. I knew a man who did just that. He had a hardware business in a small isolated Australian town. He was very successful and he believed that he was good at what he did. The reason for his success was in fact a simple truth of location. No one else was anywhere near where he was and builders were not prepared to make the journey to the next town 50 km away. When competition opened up every customer abandoned his business. Why? The service was in fact bad at the best of times. But because they believed that they were good at what they did they had become haughty. They got caught out and customers voted with their feet. They walked!

So we have to honestly evaluate whether we really are good at what we think we are. Just because we enjoy a small amount of success in an area is not for entirely a final argument that we are good at it. Competition could well indicate that we are not so good. So take the time to ask your genuine friend what you are good at. Consider your own feelings on various activities too. For example, what do you enjoy doing very much? What can you do all day without feeling tired? Is there something that just excites you? All of these factors are worthy of consideration.

You may well discover that you have a creative mindset or that you thoroughly enjoy plodding through figures. I asked my bookkeeper recently how he liked working down ledgers. For me it’s a total pain but he said that he thoroughly enjoyed doing it. So there is a calling for everyone.

Discover what you are good at. It is a key to success.