Better Decisions Lead To Better Destinations

Extract from the new book "Better Decisions Lead To Better Destinations"

"The grass only looks greener"

Attributed To Many Authors

The original saying is that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Imaginary individuals are looking over the fence at their neighbor’s garden and accentuating the positive while becoming negative about their own garden. Thus the saying as outlined above.

The reality however is that the grass only looks greener in the eye of the beholder. There is every chance that your neighbor in this situation is looking at your garden with envy because they believe that your garden is better than theirs.

One consistent characteristic of human beings is their ability to imagine that something is better because it belongs to someone else. Or they believe that by acquiring something that they do not have, their life will improve in some way. So the saying is that “the grass is greener on the other side.” Rarely does this prove to be the panacea to success that people imagine it is likely to be.

It is reminiscent of the sporting events that I watch each year. Some people watch golfers and notice the ads for amazing golf clubs. So they purchase the golf club and imagine that because they’ve now got this amazing club they’ll perform like some champion golfer. Or perhaps they watch Wimbledon and they notice the tennis racquet that is in use and they think that if they do what their heroes have done and purchase that tennis racquet, then they will be able to hit the ball the same way. Naturally they soon discover that it doesn’t work like that.

This swapping positions or swapping possessions does not equate with reality. You may look at another person circumstances and think that they have it easy. You wish that you were in the same position. In reality the same person may be looking back over that fence at you and wishing that they could have your circumstances.

The grass only looks greener.

Some years ago a very well respected academic shared with me a story of his youth. At the time it was fashionable to wear hats. There was a particular shop that displayed hats very effectively and every time he went past the shop he noted this particular hat. He was determined to purchase the hat and so he scrimped and saved because he felt that the hat would look good on him and make a certain impression. Every day he went past the shop and looked at the hat. In time he purchased the hat and now he was a very happy man. But after he had purchased it he began to realize that he didn’t really suit him. His words to me? “I didn’t really like it anyway. But I couldn’t see the truth of this until I had bought it.”

The facts show that we create a certain legend, in our own thinking, about a product that we wish to have. We imagine that it will be this or this. The reality is that we create, in our own mind, the illusion that the grass is greener on the other side. When we start this elusive line of thinking we can convince ourselves that the grass actually is greener on the other side and begin to covet what other people have.

Life is what we make it. Rather than looking over the fence we need to focus on what we do have and what we can do. Remember that where you focus your life leads you to success in those areas. Occasionally a successful person will look up from their hard focused activity and see people looking over the fence wishing that they were as successful. But the successful person knows that there is no point in looking over the fence because the grass only “looks greener.” Swapping places with someone else does not equate to an easy life. Success is always the result of focused activity.

Focus on your own life and therefore “on your own garden” and you will soon realize success yourself.